Married to the Military

A year and three months ago I married a beautiful, wonderful woman who happens to be in the Army.  Anyone who knows me knows that on paper, that’s a very strange fit.  But love is not under our control.


As a left-libertarian, I am for limited use of the military.  The word “defense” is in the name of the governing department, and more attention should be paid to that word.  The primary focus of our military should be to keep another country from invading us (and perhaps helping out with natural disasters, since they have all of that equipment).

The Iraq war has been a huge strategic blunder.  Not only was it unnecessary for the defense of our country, but we knocked out the secular state that separated the shias from the sunnis.  As a result Iran’s influence will drift westward toward Mecca.

And it’s cost a lot of money we don’t have.

Afghanistan should be wrapped up.  We don’t need boots on the ground to disable the Taliban.   The mess has lasted longer than WW II, and aside from bombing some terrorist camps, has achieved nothing but lost lives, tragic injuries, and billions of dollars.

But now, I’m learning about the military at the ground level.  The first surprise was that soldiers have to buy their own uniforms from private companies.  All of the hundreds of billions of dollars that go to defense must be going to contractors for gadgets (the military industrial complex), and the soldier is treated poorly.

The next thing I noticed is the rampant level of incompetence.  Communication within the organization is horrible.  And this not due to the need for tactical secrecy.  A lot of the military is performing mundane functions that private companies perform, but there is missing the element of trained management that one finds in the civilian world.  They need some MBAs.

I also learned that despite all the talk of honor and discipline, the higher ups have very little control over the social behavior of the soldiers.  It seems like a large dating pool, with rampant sexual harassment, babies being made, lots of adultery, divorce, families broken, etc.  There are high rates of unnecessary mental illness and suicide.  The soldiers run buck wild.

But I’m learning some of the acronyms.  I get Military Spouse magazine in my e-mail.  (It’s entirely geared toward wives and girlfriends, there being few of us military husbands).  I’m a dependent and will never hold a job more than a few years at a time until my wife gets out, which is fine with me.  I feel like I’ve proven myself to myself in the work world, climbed as far as I want to climb and am ready to focus on family and more pleasant aspects of life.

And I sincerely support the troops.  I waited anxiously for ten months while my wife was in Iraq, and she may well end up going to Afghanistan at some point.  (I hope not.)  But now I know how bad it is for them and their families, so I am much more sensitive to their plight and longings.

Day to day, the good soldiers seem to be just trying to do their jobs amidst the bad soldiers who are there to avoid a misdemeanor conviction.  It’s just the higher up decision-makers (deciders) that I so vehemently disagree with., so I don’t know what stickers or ribbons I should put on my car.